51 Sarcastic Smartass Quotes About Life That Are So Mean You Lose Your Will To Live

Not everyone gets or like sarcasm. It takes a unique taste in humor to laugh from sarcastic memes or jokes. And while we don’t have an opinion about it here or there, we do appreciate the fact that many people really enjoy these kind of funny smartass quotes.

Think of Jerry Seinfeld or Chandler Bing from Friends and you will know exactly what we mean. It is also been said that sarcastic people are very smart, because it takes a sharp mind to understand the statements of these kind of quotes or jokes.

How to deliver the best smart ass quote:

• Don’t laugh when you say it
• Raise your eyebrow like The Rock for emphasis
• Speak in a stable voice.

People who don’t fully understand sarcasm are not dumb, don’t get us wrong, but more often than not, they’re clever.

Today we want to show you some of the best sarcastic smart ass quotes about life we could come up with or find online. And if you happen to be fancy of some, please share with your friends and see if they get it.

The best Smartass quotes on the internet collection 

1. Selective hearing vs Selective deafness

I use this method all the time, very convenient.

2. A truly Sarcastic quote

” Smile, tomorrow will be worse ”

3. So pity, they should have not missed it

Mark Twain was a beast, killing us with these killer quotes

4. Some people seem smart until they open their mouth

This might just be the cleverest smartass quote I’ve seen in a while. Very sharp and funny.

5. Every day is Wednesday at 5PM

Everyday of the week is special. It’s five o’clock somewhere am I right?

6. At least i’m not you.

This one stings to be honest. Why would someone say such a thing

7. Epic example of a sarcastic quote about life

” I am not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them ” Love it.

8. And I don’t want to be wrong. So I think different from you

The old famous. ” I’d agree with you, but then we both be wrong ” Is a classic

9. Please crawl back out of my life

Never say this to a woman, she will straight up kill you for that smart ass quote

10. The lowest of the low

When you want to say to someone they are so low it’s even lower than the rock bottom

11. Sarcasm is the brain defence mechanism against stupid people

They are everyone, you have to be careful

12. Trying to make people work with you

If someone says this to you, you should run away like from fire

13. Sarcastic people usually are very happy in a sarcastic way

Don’t be that person please. Smart asses are not always welcome

14. Another great example of sarcastic quotes

I’ve got you beat. Been tired since 2009. How about that.

15. I need a minute to digest all the other people’s stupid

Because if I don’t get it, I will be angry too fast, too long.

16. Don’t bother me with your issues

I don’t like the programming on this. Netflix is much better thank you very much

17. Your mom is too loud, make her stop

This happened to me when I was a kid – no joke

18. If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question. Smartass

I love this reply

19. Trash taking itself out – lovely

And we all know no one likes to take out the trash

20. I’ll stop being a sarcastic bitc* when you stop being a stupid fuc*

Oh snap! This was cold AF

21. I do not care, about anything.

This reminds me of a specific first lady who had the same approach.

22. Let’s agree to disagree

The first line of this quote is very familiar. The second is a nice saucy addition.

23. I’m a package deal

You either love me for being a smartass, or you leave me for being too sweet. You can’t have both

24. I will never call you, so hang by your phone

Nice, very clever way of putting someone off

25. Not buying your bullshit sir

So I would like my money back please for the time you wasted for me

26. Can mirrors laugh?

Because you’re hilarious! Not in a good way

27. People, right?

Nothing much to say really

28. My face responds to stupid immediately

Because you sound so dumb I can’t control myself

29. I don’t like you. It’s not sarcasm, it’s just the truth

When you don’t want to pretend to NOT like someone, it’s the ultimate burn

30. Keep rolling your eyes

And maybe not you know. What ever happens happens

31. My sarcastic nature has gone too far

That’s how much sarcastic I am. I’m not being a smart ass. I just am like this all the time

32. I thought you already knew you were stupid

I mean, it’s out there. Everyone knows

Smartass Quotes everyone should try at least once

33. I can agree with this quote

I never say ” Good Morning ” I always say ” Morning ” instead. Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed. 

34. Oh my, someone has anger issues

When someone says to me ” Suck it up ” when I have a bad day, I think about breaking their legs with a baseball bat and then just saying ” walk it off ” 

35. Good point

If you think you’re cooler than me, this automatically makes me hotter than you, so I won

36. Pizza is life – it’s just is

If you’re not pizza the answer is always YES. I can live without you

37. Burning two people at the same time

Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up, that’s really nice of you

38. You can’t cheat history

You say we are a king and queen. Well, what’s a queen without her king? History, more powerful. 

39. That’s the point missy

When you brake up with your Gf and she says you will never find someone like me, simply reply with – That’s the point. And walk away 

40. When you get your gf mad

You think i’m cute when i’m angry, well get ready buddy, as i’m about to turn gorgeous

41. Just messing around

My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face. Sharpies are the best! 

42. I just speak the truth people

I’m actually not a funny person at all. I am just a mean person but everyone keeps thinking i’m joking

43. I can only do so much you know

I can only please one person a day, this isn’t your day buddy. Tomorrow doesn’t look good too. Sorry

44. When you speak the truth – no one can get hurt

I am not insulting you, I am just describing you accurately.  

45. Get them where it hurts

If you go for runs as much as you run your mouth, you will be in great shape.

46. Burning the whole family with one go

Don’t blame me because you’re stupid, take it up with your mom and dad 

47. When you don’t even need to try

I would love to take a shot at you, but i’ll let nature do its thing.

48. When you want to be a smartass

Whoever told you to just be yourself gave you terrible advice. 

49. Adulting is hard

Being an adult means being tired all the time, doing plans you don’t want to do, and trying to figure out why your back hurts 

50. When it’s mutual

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was doing the same thing. And saving us from a weird conversation both of us don’t want or need.

51. Just let go

My ex had this one really super annoying habit – breathing. 

Sarcastic quotes about life just ended, but make sure to subscribe to our newsletter for more.